twins update & birth talk

Well, at today's appointment they were fine, they passed their BPP with flying colors. They were both very nicely head down and have been so since Friday...i say 'were' because Pollux is currently executing some serious maneuvers in there and that boy can not be trusted. I don't think he flipped again but i would not put it past him.

Anyway, so we discussed a vaginal delivery in a little greater detail. Dr. B says i will have to have an IV, due to the increased risk of postpartum hemmorhage with twins, and that he strongly suggests an epidural but if i really don't want one he won't insist on it, though the anesthesia people will not be happy....they will just have to put me out with general in case of emergency c-section. He said that the risk of general is more for me than for the babies -- we will be in the OR anyway because it's twins so he says that he will have 'em out in 1-2 minutes if that would be necessary. Thus their exposure to it would be minimal.

To be honest, the thought of having to have an IV for a vaginal birth is bothering me. It took me a little while to figure out why, but i did puzzle it out -- the only time in my life i ever had an IV was when Nicolas was born. (I had an epidural then too). So i am afraid the IV will cause me to freak, and an epidural even more so...because it will give pain relief, and then i will be free to think of other things. Which i may not perhaps exactly want to be thinking about, especially if this OR room is anything reminiscent of the one we were in with Nicolas. So that's really the reason for, well, for my concern. I will have to inquire what the OR room actually looks like.

I know if they are positioned badly when i go into labor, and i have to have a c-section for that reason, this particular issue won't bother me that much. Because the whole experience will be extremely different....i don't know, i am just trying to figure it all out, and have as much control of an uncontrollable situation as possible. Or rather, just make sure i keep my head on straight. I think i will be better off if i can work on some of this stuff beforehand, i do *not* want to be in labor and freaking out. It seems silly on one hand to be bugged by a simple thing like an IV, but on the other hand, what can do you? I am bugged by it.

C's iris

When i was a small girl i loved bearded irises. They were my favorite flower. All the colors, and the ruffles, and the smells -- the bigger and more ruffly it was, the more i loved it. My mother rolled her eyes and somehow those big fat colorful irises that i saw in other people's gardens never seemed to make it into our garden. I didn't really understand this at the time....

But as i grew older i, uh, understood more about such matters of taste. And then when i had my own garden for the first time, i didn't plant any bearded irises. Besides the matter of garishness, they only bloom once, and especially down in VA they have a very short blooming season. In Michigan they makes more sense, because they seem to hang around longer, and this year at least alot of them were blooming 2 weeks ago when nothing else was. Nowadays you can get ones that rebloom, too, which makes them a significantly more attractive garden plant.

The first time we came around to look at this house, the owner had started to plant a new flower bed in the front, to 'spruce up the place for sale'. As was completely typical of this lady, the bed was dug but there was *nothing* in it, except one blooming bearded iris in the very middle. She meant to fill it with annuals, i guess, and apparently never got around to it. She apparently never got around to alot of things, which is why it cost us more to renovate the place than it cost to buy it. But that is neither here nor there.

The iris was blooming the first time we looked at the house, a heinous peach-pink ruffly thing. 'Ugh', i thought, 'ugh ugh ugh. Well, at least if the girl lives, she will love it'....i was preggo with C at the time.

We did buy the house, and the iris stayed in the front for nearly a year, all by itself, while the workmen drove their trucks over it to park on the lawn. Finally when i put the garden in the back, in fall of 2005, i dug it out and moved it. I was not surprised last year when it didn't bloom, in fact i was surprised it was still alive, after being used as a parking lot for so long.

This year, though, it has many buds, and i have been anxiously awaiting it's opening...to see if it is as ugly as i remember, and to see if C will like it.

It opened this morning. It actually looks somewhat less offensive on the pictures, than in person...


"C! Come look at your iris, it bloomed!"

"Dat one?"

"Yes, i thought you would like it, because it is pink and ruffly."

"Yes! It is a princess one!"

Indeed.

irises and peonies

I really *must* go clean up my third floor....which, of course, explains why i am sitting on my bed posting flower pictures on the internet.
But at least something is blooming nowadays. Here is a siberian iris 'flight of butterflies' or something like that. My mother gave me this clump (though it was smaller then), and then some kind neighbor came at night and stole all the ones she had. So now i have to give them back....but at least mine are doing well and the clump is big enough to split.

Here is the other siberian iris i have, and a peony. I have no idea what either of them are called, they both came from my mom's place. I know that is not very helpful! She got the peony as a division from someone else, so no clue what it's name is. It is a very hot pink.
This gives you a better idea of the color. My tag says 'Peony Magenta' but i believe that refers to the color of the foliage as it emerges in spring, because this color is definitely not magenta.

Here is Nicolas' peony, 'Krinkled White' is the cultivar. I had to look the name up by checking on my blog archives from last year (blogs are very useful!) and was amazed at the difference in the size of the bush...i mean, i knew it grew but sheesh! You can see the foxglove next to it is going to start to bloom soon.

I do love this peony so i took a bunch of pictures of the flowers. Indulge me.






I have a third peony, a light pink one, but it blooms later than the others so we will all have to wait...

Rugosas

Ok, here is a decent picture of rosa 'Blanc Double de Coubert':

Here is a picture of a different flower from the same plant (and the corner of my cellphone, oops):

See, some of them have less petals than others, but they all have more than one ring of petals. The single form, rosa rugosa alba, looks like this, with only one ring of petals:

It just opened today! So far these are the only roses blooming, except a junky one from my neighbor...and it looks like 'Nicolas' should open tomorrow. Rugosas are some of my favorite roses. Hell, let's be clear -- all my roses are my favorite roses.....

bad boys, scare mommy...

So, yesterday i had my regularly-scheduled BPP but the twins did not do so well -- or rather, they did everything but the practice breathing so they each got 6 out of 8...not terrible but not exactly reassuring. They didn't look bad, though, just sleepy, and with the heat...i can't say i feel great myself. In fact i feel awful but that's another thing. So, said the doctor, we redo one within 24 hours and see how they do. But the office couldn't fit me in, so they said 'just go to triage in the morning'.

Well, there's a plan. The babies did fine on their kick counts that night, and were quite active all night & all morning, so i was somewhat reassured (not that i slept too much). It doesn't help that we are very close to 34 weeks which is when Nicolas died, without any warning mind you. I got to triage at a reasonable hour and they admitted me & did all the paperwork & had me undress (?)...but then told me that no, they couldn't really do it, they wanted me to go down to fetal imaging and they had got me an appointment, at 2:30 in the afternoon, bye.

Oh, that's great. Didn't even bother to check the babies. Very nice.

Anyway, long story short, i managed to kill the many intervening hours without freaking out too too badly (only mildly), and the BPP went fine, they did their breathing motions nicely. But i am completely exhausted from this experience.

On the way home i was listening to the radio and this story came on, and i discovered that apparently the boys really like surf guitar...go figure.

mother of the year

While i was writing the previous post, C apparently took a whole deck of A's Pokemon cards and one-by-one dropped them down into the heating vent. Right next to me, and i didn't even notice what she was doing. I thought she was just sorting through them looking at the pictures. Trust me though, he will never notice they are gone.

I guess i should try to figure out how to get them out, in case they catch fire or something, but to be honest i really don't care...that is probably the most disturbing thing about it!

container gardening

I swore not to do any pots of annuals at all this year.

Sure, i have a beautifully- painted back porch courtesy of my dh, which is just begging for me to hang baskets from it...and all these pots to fill....but i KNOW they will just DIE because once the babies come noone will WATER them -- even though i will tell A to do it, you can bet he won't. So i have been very good, and bought nothing of the sort, ok, except for some pansies which will die anyway when the weather gets too hot so i don't feel too bad.

Well, yesterday i had to go to the expensive garden center to get some seeds for the vegetable garden (that's a whole other post...no, it's a whole other blog...). And when there, i was, as usual, faced with all the awesome new stuff they have brought out for this season. You know, those 'proven winners' annuals which are $5 for the 4-inch pot? Made, apparently, for people with deep pockets? The ones which say 'propagation prohibited by law' and are genetically altered not to make any seeds at all? (ok, i don't *know* that, but i strongly suspect it) But heck they are so cool...it is so very tempting....i had 30 bucks' worth of fantastic plants in my hands just like *that* (yeah, that's, uh, six of them). And then i talked myself down...this is a racket, don't fall into it....besides they will just die anyway....and i put them all back, bought a few seed packets, got into my car, and left.

I am a paragon of virtue.

That is, until a few more miles down the road i saw a hand-lettered sign at one of those roadside places that open up -- annuals $10 a flat! And etc. I do in fact need a flat of marigolds for the vegetable garden. So i fell of the wagon there...

Now granted, it's not like it is even *such* a good price -- i can get that price if i go to the market on saturday morning. BUT i actually have to go, i have to drag C, i have to be there early, fight the crowds, park. There is something unpleasant in it, and something very tempting about just getting it done *right now*, so i stopped. And then they had wave petunias for $4 for 6, and i knew it was all over for me.

I didn't buy that much, really, $20 spent is not that bad. You see, it turned out it was cash only...

I was hoping to plant what i had, and post pictures, but it is like 90 degrees outside today, so we are holed up inside sitting under a fan. Maybe this weekend....i hope the heat will break.

First rose!

'Blanc Double de Coubert'....ok, it was a little wilted by the time i got out there to take the picture, but i had to take it anyway. When more bloom, i will get a better pic. It was a real surprise to see this -- i was not expecting one this early. Maybe there will be more soon!

LGWC

After a very long & challenging day yesterday, I looked at Ms. Sassy across the dinner table and just had to take pictures...this post of niobe's coming immediately to mind. It must be something in the curls...

[photos removed]

still doing ok

I just realized that i had not posted in like, a week, which is kind of bad. I don't have alot to say, though, and there is very little in the garden to photograph. And my camera is not working very well due to the battery being nearly dead. I asked dh to get a new one 2-3 weeks ago. Uh-huh, sure.

Anyway last week at 32 weeks the twins were measuring in at 4 lbs 7 oz and 4 lbs 10 oz....seems kinda big to me....okay then. I am not sure how good these measurements are as we are nearing the end...As far as positioning (and thus method of delivery) -- on monday Castor (the presenting twin) was head down and Pollux was head up, on wednesday they were both head down (though Pollux is more like side-to-side, and on Friday they were both transverse breech again. So...we can say they move around alot, i guess, but nothing more.

My neighbors gave me a small impromtu baby shower at our neighborhood block meeting yesterday, it was cute and i didn't cry or act wierd. Good deal.

I am finding it is still difficult to cope with all the things that have to be done around here in preparation for the babies' arrival, and various family matters as well, so i might not be posting much....we will see.

some macro shots

The light was decent the other morning so i took these...


'Black Hero' Tulip






'Black Hero' Tulips and dragonfly garden stake. I have alot of garden ornaments now (maybe too many) after a trip to the dollar store with C. But these are actually copper & glass, and for a buck, how can you pass it by?



Tired of these tulips yet? Don't worry, that's all of the pics of them, i will go on to another tulip now.









This is one of C's, whose name i can't remember. I guess i could try to figure it out, but i am not in the mood...it will remain a mystery. This is the only one that looks quite this unusual, though.






Big hostas leafing out....the little ones are already all leafed out, but i didn't photograph any of those....





Ants on peony bud...i guess it would make a better picture if it was in focus. Oh well.

The peonies look awesome this year, actually. A lot of buds on all of them, considering this is just the second year they have been in....I will be quite excited to see them bloom!







Coral bells ('Palace Purple' i think but i wouldn't stake my life on it) and painted fern. The foliage is pretty together but i can't really seem to get a decent picture.




Here is the painted fern again. This picture actually makes a neat background on the computer screen...at least for awhile, until your eyes get tired.


Armerica again










Gardenscape. As you can see, the white tulips were already on their way out -- this morning, after last night's deluge of rain, they are totally gone. Irises are nowhere near blooming yet, so nothing really is happening. I will have to plant something to fill in this gap, but i have no idea what....

For Rosepetal's boys

Fowers for A. and V.

vanity, and laundry

When sorting the kids clothes, i found my knitting masterpiece, an Aran sweater i made for A when he was around 6 years old. I show it to you now, because i'm just a vain person:
It took me more than a year to make, it's that traditional off-white 100% wool for a fisherman's sweater, no i didn't use a pattern, and yes i think he wore it twice.

You can tell (if you click on the picture) that it is covered with stains that appear to look like rust stains but i am not sure. Does anyone have any clue how to get them out? I don't want to try bleach because i don't want it to become white-white, and if it *is* rust, bleach doesn't do anything anyway. Oxyclean, is that different than chlorine bleach? Other products? Any ideas? I'm desperate here...

weekend (mother's day) report

A comment that becomes a post...it happens.

So, firstly i was going to post a 'gentle Mother's Day to all' thing yesterday but didn't manage...i am sorry for that. I have been thinking of everyone who reads here who has to spend that day without their child or children. It is a cruel sort of 'holiday'.

For me, actually, it doesn't bother me much....mostly because we don't make a big deal out of it, and never have. No brunches/cards/gifts etc. Dh will do something for his mom if she happens to be visiting us at the time, that is about it. I am the only one in my household who really 'does' holidays at all, and i am not about to 'do' one for me...especially now.

Usually i just ask Dh to take the kids and let me have some free time to myself to dig in the garden. That did not happen this weekend, because he is busy painting the back porch. There is a long story of ladders and superstitions that i may post later, but for now suffice it to say that his back-porch project is impeding my garden-mulch project and thus it behooves me to have him done with that crap ASAP. He promised it would be done this weekend. As IF....luckily i knew enough not to hope for that. It's a big-ass porch, three stories -- i know, i painted all the stupid balusters and it took me more than a month, to do just one coat. (there are alot of them, and i could only do it while C was napping)

I did go to church on mother's day though. I would rather have stayed in the house -- i take C so Dh can work on the house, but making her behave there takes alot of out me these days. So church is like an aerobic activity...anyway the only reason i went was because last year i had told Father Mark after mother's day mass that he should include mothers who had lost their children....and i was really curious to see if he would do it. Well, i still don't know the answer....we had another priest giving mass. I was most annoyed at first! But this priest was good -- he acknowledged the pain of infertility as well as the sorrow of losing a child, and of course included those people whose mothers had died. And they don't do the thing at our church where they ask all the mothers to stand up, so that is good too. At the end of mass they give out 3 geraniums -- to the oldest mother, the mother who has the most children, and the mother with the newest child...missed that last one by a couple of weeks (i hope), but that's okay with me. I always wonder if you can count dead babies for the second one...i wouldn't win anyway though, it's a Catholic church!

Friday i sorted all the kid's clothes. Big step, big job. That is not just baby clothes, mind you -- that is sizes newborn through 16, since, uh, i am a packrat who keeps everything. Good thing too. It took me hours, and now i have to wash what we need soon (knock on wood) and put it away. Good fun, you should see the laundry piles. After that i spent the whole weekend running around with C, the no-nap child. I am dog-tired and still behind with all my house chores....

This morning my dh looked out in the back and said 'the garden looks pretty crappy'. (he was speaking of the vegetable garden, which is indeed a weedy mess. I was intending to take care of it this weekend, but someone needed to paint instead, eh?) You will be proud, i did not dump my coffee on his head. Instead i said 'Yes it is, but i need time to work on it.' That and a baleful stare, and i think he got the message, because all of a sudden he said 'Time! Time to go!' and hustled the kids out the door. Heh.

32 weeks today! Yay!

2nd Annual Remembering Emma Grace Donation Drive

I just thought i would post this link here for Candy, who is starting to collect items for Emma's 2nd Annual donation drive.

2nd Annual Remembering Emma Grace Donation Drive

I will be sending something, though i fear i am well behind in my projects and thus it will not be something handmade. Another year, perhaps...

flower pics, early May

See, i told you so.

Here is a picture from my second floor back window, so you can see the shape of my border. It looked better a week or so before this when more daffodils were blooming (those are daffodils that go all the way around). Now they, and the red tulips, are nearly all gone so it is kind of sad. There is a week or two now in which nothing much happens. I should fix that at some point.

C's tulips. She picked these out last fall when we met Sarah in Ann Arbor. I keep pointing this out to her but of course she has forgotten entirely and looks at me like i am talking nonsense. I can't say i would have picked these out myself, they are kind of pretty i guess but a little bit bizarre.

Armerica and pansies in Nicolas' garden. At least i think that stuff is called 'armerica' but when i google this name all i come up with is thousands of websites where people have misspelled 'America'.








Closeup of the armerica. OK, i got it, armerica maritima is the latin name, it's common name is apparently 'thrift'. Well, no wonder i didn't remember that, there is absolutely nothing thrifty on this whole blasted property. Do they have a flower called 'debt'?

Tulip 'Calgary', forget-me-nots, and Narcissus 'Thalia' in Nicolas' garden. I do think it is pretty with the forget-me-nots but i have to move them anyway, because that sucker is a freaking weed that takes over everything. I will put bleeding hearts or a columbine in it's place, haven't decided yet.

A close-up of 'Calgary'. I took this one because of the green stripe on the outside, most of them don't have that green stripe -- they are pure white. But the green stripe is kinda cool, no? Please ignore pillows sitting out to dry in the background, i didn't even realize that was there messing up my picture when i took it. Oops.

Tulips 'Calgary' and 'Black Hero', which is a double form of 'Queen of the Night'. I was very excited to plant these two together, and sure they look elegant, but given last year's experience i suspect they will all die an ignoble death this summer and i will have to get more in the fall. Sigh. I have read that one thing you can do to ensure them coming back is take out the bulbs in the spring after they are done blooming and the foliage has died back, store them through summer and plant them back in the fall. Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Here are my volunteers again. I admit i am completely tickled that i got a whole two planters out of something that just showed up in the yard. Actually after today it will be three planters...there are more showing up in the grass and it is time for a mowing again...I put Nicolas' pinwheel in this planter this year (last year it was in the rose garden) and it seems to be a good place because the wind gets it going quite often. It never did much among the roses. The relief on the planter is supposed to be Adam & Eve getting thrown out of the garden of Eden. I bought it years ago when i was in graduate school -- it was quite expensive but i was quite depressed. So it was still cheaper than a therapist. I would love to have like five of these planters but that is quite alot of therapy, especially now that we have a decent insurance plan...

Ok, i am babbling, so i will shut up now, and go corral A to mow the lawn. He has the day off school, so he ought to do something besides sleep, after all.

sorrow

If you see this, go over to Rosepetal's and give her some support. I am just so very sad for her, i just wish there was more i could do, something i could do. I don't even know what to say, i mean, how many times can you say 'i'm sorry'? I'm starting to sound like a broken record here.

Maybe i will just stick to posting pictures of my flowers for awhile...

You would *think*

that i would have more time, not less, now that i am not working. But somehow i am just as overwhelmed as always. I can't figure it out! I have a cold, maybe i can blame that...

Sigh....i guess i will just never be caught up with everything!