tidbits

C: Mommy, are you strong?

Me: Well, i suppose so, strong enough anyway.

C: Me too, i'm strong. I'm very strong. I'm speed strong.

Me: Yeah, and you're head strong too.

C (very pleased at this compliment): Yeah! I sure are!!!!

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T. was walking down the stairs with me the other day, counting.

"Un, too, tife (5?), tee (3?), tine (9??)"

I was impressed, having not taught him that myself.

Later in the day, DH called from the kitchen "Hey, did you know this baby can count? He just said 'one two three!' "

"Oh, which baby?"

"I dunno, the one that was just here."

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C says: 'Mommy, i wish i could have EVERYTHING i want'

so i laughed and said, 'C, we ALL wish that!'

so she said,'what do you want? Lots of fancy lamps?'

i said something like,' well, we have some pretty fancy lamps already....'

so then she says 'oh, then do you want some fancy pillows?'

where does she GET this stuff??

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The babies are now tall enough that they can stand on a stool and push the on button for the TV. So you can imagine that pushing that button is all they want to do -- on, off, on, off. Obviously, my first thought was to just unplug the power cord.

T. stood on his stool, pushed pushed pushed and nothing happened. He kept trying, and then just gave up and went to do something else. M, however, looked under the TV table, noticed a plug that was not in the wall, and went to plug it back in. At 20 months.

Boy am i in trouble!

a lesson from previous years...

....was that if i wanted to complete something by Nicolas' birthday in March, i should start it sometime in December.

So that's what i did this year. I knitted a shawl for a hospital program that gives them to mothers who have lost a baby. I started after Christmas, finished sometime in January, and it took me until now to actually get it in the mail. For me, in fact, that's pretty speedy.




I admit i am showing it off here, because i am proud that i actually accomplished a task. I have not been very functional lately.

I would like to make some burial buntings/gowns as well, but we will see how long it will take to get to that. I am currently making a sweater for myself, what a weird concept that is. (It makes me actually feel guilty to take the time to make something for myself. But i'm getting over it.)

Black History Month

C: Mom, who made the stoplight?

Me: Uh...um...Garrett.....Garrett....heck, i should know this but i don't remember his name.

C: Was it Jesus?

fail

The DH is thinking of joining a men's club -- apparently this club has been meeting every Saturday for the last 150-odd years. There are some younger members, but most of them are quite old...that 150-year thing, you know. The men have drinks, a lecture by a member on some topic of the member's interest, and dinner. The dinners vary in quality as they are provided by the member giving the talk. Occasionally the wives are invited, so when such an evening came up, we decided to both go because i was curious. I can certainly speak to the variation in quality of the dinners -- i had heard tales of filet mignon, but when i went the offering was something truly unidentifyable in a metal casserole pan. And some dry chicken. But, mercifully it turns out, there was plenty of liquor.

Our hosts for the evening (since dh is not a member yet) showed us around. The fellow was in Chemistry (hereafter i will refer to him as 'Chemistry Guy', because i'm just so original) and the wife was also in Chemistry (uh, 'Chemistry Gal', then). As these things go, dh spent much of the night talking to Chemistry Guy, while i chatted with the wife. Chemistry Guy was smart and nice, but Chem Gal...uh...next time i would be better off staying home listening to someone scratch their nails on a chalkboard all night. Chem Gal's daughter is currently 24 weeks pregnant with twins, and on full bedrest...so of course....the conversation consisted mostly of talk of layettes, car seats, baby showers, and the like...and octu*plets. I will spare you the details of the discussion of the octu*plets....if you want a taste, imagine getting a root canal while listening to nails on a chalkboard. Good times.

At one point, we were all standing along the wall in a line -- me listening to Chem Gal talk about playpens or something, and dh & Chem Guy who had apparently picked up some kind of child-related conversation as well. One of the octogenarian members, who i had not been introduced to, came up to the menfolk.

'We were talking about children', said Chem Guy, 'How many do you have?'
'Well, we had three, but only two survived', said the octogenarian.

Then there was that pause, that most of you reading this know quite well.

I have to admit, i was shocked. His statement was out of left field for me -- i have never heard this said in quite that way, and by a man either. Usually it is a woman who will share.....Clearly the men didn't know what to say. But i took too long to get my brain into gear, because Chem Gal started immediately prattling on about her twins again....and thus i failed to say anything at all. I noticed the octogenarian and his wife left shortly after.

Like it would've been so hard for me to come out with 'I'm sorry to hear that, we lost our second baby also.' Like that would have BEEN SO HARD to figure out. Kick self in head. UGH.

I like to think that i do bring up the subject of Nicolas when it is appropriate, when i have an opening. I don't talk about him very often, because really there are not that many opportunities in daily life to talk about dead babies. But i do not want him to be a secret and so i tell myself that i do let people know about him, that he is not a 'bad thing that happened' that got swept under the rug. Huh. I guess i am wrong about that....evidently i don't mention him at all anymore, at least in real life. Nice.